Haven't I been here before?

Hey there, guess what? I think I have a blog. I'm still trying to confirm it as all evidence points to the contrary. You know, I haven't actually been writing any posts to a blog lately. Also I don't actually feel any creative inspiration to post to a blog at the moment...hmmmm. Strangely though, this blog here seems awful familiar and I do have the password and all. I guess we'll just see what happens.

I guess a good place to start would be Alaska, since the last time anyone heard from me I was heading there. I could go on and on about the details, but yawn. Instead I'm putting out a call for anyone who can identify an oddity that I spotted while in the Inside Passage.

From a distance I spotted this:



I couldn't quite tell what it was until we got a bit closer and zoomed in on this:



It is a huge house built on a barge. Definitely not your standard houseboat! It was being pulled by this little tugboat and my favorite part was it seemed to be towing it's own little guest house here:



I just know there is a fun story here if I could only track it down. Some clever retiree that figured out a tax loophole if he only spent so much time tethered to land... or ... some famous recluse that found the wilds of Alaska too populated for him so he took to the sea.

Someone out there knows the story here...please share.

Hey...you dented my passenger door with your elbow.

I'll be the first to admit it. I love my cell phone in an unnatural way.

It takes pictures, plays videos, browses the internet, has this cute little keyboard hidden inside and gets kick-ass reception in places where nobody else can make a call. It's the only phone I use, sure I have a phone line in my house for the DSL line but I never use it or give out the number. If I ever lost my cell phone, there are people I would probably never speak to again as it is the only place I store most of my phone numbers. With all of the medical crisis of late, it has been very comforting for both me and my family that it makes me always reachable. I live and die by my cell phone. Plus it sings me my favorite "They Might be Giants" song when I get a call. Swoon.

As much as I love my cell phone, I try very hard not to be "obnoxious cell phone girl". You know that girl...she's the one having clearly private conversations very loudly in the middle of the grocery store. Or she's the one who answers a call in the middle of a restaurant. Or also the person who forgets to turn off the ringer in very inappropriate places like the museum or church.

What I will admit to is...now don't judge me...I talk on the phone while I drive. Booooo, hisssss. I know, I know it's bad. I should pull over or wait until I get home, but I can't seem to help it. Driving time is such a glorious, unscheduled opportunity for me to get a hold of people that I never seem to make the time to call otherwise. Now in my defense, I do use I wireless earpiece (it's cute and techie, of course I do) and if traffic gets dodgy I hang up in a heartbeat.

All of this leads me to my drive home from work. I hit a bicycler. Actually in an "it could only happen to me" way, a biker ran into my car. Now I know what you are thinking, I was probably yakking on the phone, not paying attention and caused this little incident. Cross my heart, it wasn't my fault. I was on the phone, but it really wasn't my fault. I was stopped at a red light, waiting for things to clear so I could turn right when WHAM! My poor mom got a quick "Oh shit! someone just hit me, I have to go" click. I can only imagine what she was thinking. I quickly pulled around the corner into a driveway to make sure the guy was OK.

I was freaked out. Getting startled in your car always means something bad has happened and I was definitely startled. I got out of the car and immediately went over to ask if the guy was OK. Instantly he is on his feet yelling at me about how I need to be more carefull and muttering under his breath about those damn cell phones. I stood there for a second trying to sort out what was happening. I knew he wasn't hurt as he was standing and walking and yelling at me quite well, but hey...why was he yelling at me?! My befuddled brain tried to make sense of the situation when suddenly something clicked. I had one of those rare moments where I think I handled a difficult situation exactly right.

Despite his yelling, I stood up as tall as I could and calmly said:

Me: Hey, we both know what really just happened here so calm down. First of all, are you OK?

Him: Yes I'm OK, but FUCK! You need to pay more attention when you're driving...talking on your phone ...mutter mutter...stupid bitch...mutter mutter.

Me: Stop right there. I was stopped when you ran into my car and we both know it so you need to stop yelling at me right now. You were riding way too fast on a public sidewalk when you should have been in the bike line on the other side of the street. You darted out into the street from behind a big bush, so I can understand why you didn't see me but I know you didn't have a green light. I did nothing wrong here and you did everything wrong, so you can quit yelling at me and blaming my phone call.

Him: (much more sheepishly, but still quite defensive) Well, I'm on my way home...in a hurry...you know how it is. but still...

Me: I understand, but you have got to be more careful. I'm glad you're OK and we aren't going to worry about the little dent you put in my passenger door.

Him: Look, I don't want to argue. You're OK, I'm OK Just be more careful when you're on the phone.

Me: I want to be real clear here. This was not my fault. I wasn't even moving. You will leave here and tell this story any way you choose, but right here right now I want you to know that I am aware this was your fault. and as I look you in the eye, I can tell you know it too so drop the lecture. Save it for the version you tell your friends about the obnoxious lady who ran you down.

That was that, he rode off and I sat in my car for 10 minutes until I stopped shaking. I'm not sure why it was so important to me that he acknowledge it wasn't my fault, but I kind of think I was defending my phone. It was just doing it's job and it really wasn't our fault. My poor, defenseless phone was being attacked and it needed someone to stand up for it's honor. How twisted am I?

Oh well, my phone's singing to me so I better go.

"...make a little birdhouse in your soul...."

Benign

That is truly the most beautiful word ever uttered.

For those of you have been following the medical dramas that my family have been experiencing, we received a reprieve today. A wonderful, unexpected, amazing reprieve. Whatever has been growing in my aunt's lymph nodes is actually benign and totally harmless. No cancer, complete false alarm. The past few weeks of waiting were spent contemplating "how bad"...never "if". There are no words to describe how incredible this feels.

As the news sinks in, I am left wondering what lesson I was being given through this whole experience. I believe there were lessons for everyone touched and frightened by this scare, but I think mine is supposed to be perspective. I have spent most of 2006 feeling overwhelmed by all of the chaos around me. There have been a lot of things on my plate this year, but at no point has it been more than I could handle...it just felt that way sometimes. For a fleeting moment, though, I was given a taste of what "more than I could handle" really felt like. It was the most horrible, out-of-control feeling I have ever experienced and that is saying quite a lot. But it wasn't real.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you look back on your life and wish you knew then what you know now? I don't think that very often, I usually like that I was able to experience the prior moments of my life without the burden of the knowledge and experience that I carry with me today. Much of my personal growth has come from flying blind through a new experience and being forced to figure it out. I can appreciate that. This was a rare exception though. More than once over the last few weeks I have wished I could go back and not spend so much time feeling overwhelmed and stressed out by all that was happening. I had no idea then that it could be so much worse so quickly. Well I have been given my gift of a "do over".

I get to go back and know what I know now. I get to deal with the craziness and the challenges with the knowledge that I really can handle it and manage my life and it really will all work out OK. I feel like Scrooge the morning after his ghostly visitors having earned his second chance.

I have learned a little perspective and it feels amazing.

Click your heels three times and say...

...There's no place like Alaska
...There's no place like Alaska
...There's no place like Alaska

I need a vacation and I don't feel like a horrible person for wanting to go away while my family is struggling with all of this health crap.

Welllll... I do feel horrible of course, otherwise I wouldn't have felt the need to say I didn't. The logical part of me knows that I should go and have a good time. Yes, people I care about are sick and facing some tough stuff but I can't change that by sitting around the house feeling badly. I have spent a good portion of my adult life with the sick family cloud hanging over my head and I learned years ago that life can't stop because of it. I do KNOW these things.

Yet the emotional part of me can't imagine going away for a week while all this craziness is going on. I can't help by sitting around being sad, but I don't have to rub it on their face by going off on an adventure that they don't have the luxury of enjoying.

I know I need a break, and I know that I am heading into a long difficult stretch in the months ahead. It is actually a fortunate coincidence that this long planned vacation is falling right in the middle of a lull in the insanity. I should relish an opportunity to get away from it all since it may be a while before it happens again. I just wish I didn't feel so guilty.

I will go, I will have fun, and if I keep saying it enough times I will start to believe it! Right?

Hospitals shouldn't be better decorated than most homes!

Couldn't health care in this country be much cheaper if hospitals didn't pay so much to designers to look like this?

Truth be told, though, there is something comforting about sitting in a beautiful place during a stressful time...I guess I'll just focus on that and not the wasted money.

I Call Uncle...the sequel

Otherwise known as "Don't Screw With Karma"

Anyone who read this, knows I was having a bad day a couple weeks ago...or at least I thought I was. I have since learned that the situation could get much worse. My last remaining healthy relative on my Dad's side of the family was just diagnosed with returning uterine cancer. Looks like I am facing 3 different family members having 3 major surgeries over the course of the next two months. I will also have 2 of them facing extensive cancer treatment and in addition, my Dad still can't be left alone. Did I mention that none of the 3 patients live in the same area, nor do any of them live near me...the closest is over an hour away. Oh and by the way...I'm scheduled to leave for a week in Alaska in a month. Can you say overwhelmed???

Soooo, as for my previous post I would hereby like to apologize to karma for invoking it's name in a mocking manner. Won't happen again. Seriously. I'm really sorry. So am I forgiven? No more bad news? Can I go outside without fear of being struck by lightning, cause I'm kind of hungry?

Joking aside, things are moving along OK on the medical front. The step-mom's breast cancer is small and treatable. Hopefully her health stays stable long enough to effectively do so. The real scare at the moment is the aunt's cancer diagnosis. We are probably a week away from having a real picture as to the extent of what we are dealing with and let me tell you, the dark places for this diagnosis are very bad places to be. We just have to soldier on this week without getting too morbid.

I'm still working on my cancer jokes as the silver lining is becoming ever more elusive.

Where was THIS guy?

A previously unreleased video made during the Gore/Bush campaign "found" its way to the internet. It's an interesting watch if you haven't seen it yet. Take a look:

Part 1


Part 2


Now, I'm not naive enough to believe this innocently became public. Gore can claim he is never running again all he wants, but his well orchestrated media blitz of late is paving a brilliant path that may allow him to be "dragged" back into the political spotlight in a few years. He should stand back and let the early democratic front runners beat each other up for a while. When the public begins desparately looking for someone they can look to on the left he is well positioned to reappear out of a sense of duty. At this point, I'm not sure I would be opposed to a scenario like that.

Despite any motivations behind releasing a video clip like this, it raises the obvious question of how different things might be today if the personality in the video had shown up for the campaign. Perhaps it would have looked like this:

Don't Be Late for Adam

I'm not quite sure why I enjoyed this so much but I did. Crooks and Liars has an audio clip from the Adam Carolla Show of Adam hanging up on a very snotty Ann Coulter.

Give it a listen.

Happy 4th of July

In honor of Independence day, here are my answers to a 4th of July quiz I heard on the radio today:

Question 1: What do you like most about America?

Answer 1: I love the creativity of the American people. I think stems from the many freedoms that we take for granted. Somehow we have fostered a culture where we really believe that there is no problem for which we can't create a solution. As a result, we occasionally stumble across truly ingenious solutions to age old problems. We also occasionally invent really cool, creative mops that sell on tv for $19.99 at 2:00 in the morning.

Question 2: What would you most like to change about America?

Answer 2: If I could change anything, it would be to make the voting public realize that we have more power and control over our government than we seem to think we do. I am always amazed to hear people talk about "the government" as some opressive dictator that runs their lives. When will people realize that our elected leaders and establishments can only have as much power as we are willing to hand over to them. We are currently handing that power over through our apathy.

---

I had a fun quiet day and managed to snap some firework pictures.

Thought I would share a few of my favorites, enjoy:

I Call Uncle!

I don't consider myself much of a complainer. In fact, I think most people who know me think I am pretty upbeat. I'm good at finding the silver lining in most situations. For the rare occasions where the silver linings are just too tough to spot, I'm pretty good at mocking my bad fortune sarcastically and ruthlessly. If I can't make it a positive, I'm sure as hell going to make it funny.

The unthinkable has finally happened though...I've hit my limit. The last 6 months have been filled with hospitals and bad news and airports and disappointing siblings and caretaking and cancelled plans and an evaporating personal life and AAAAAAAH!!!!

I give up. Karma wins. I don't know what I did to piss it off, just tell me what I need to do so it will lay off me a bit. rescue a puppy? feed the homeless? find world peace? Just tell me, it has to be easier than my life right now.

Someone find me a pity-pot...I need to have a seat. I'm too young to be dealing with all of this crap. I should be out having a life and having fun, not worrying constantly and researching medical treatments. I want to be carefree and happy for a little while. I want to be able to make plans that I don't secretly believe will fall through. I want it to be a good thing when the phone rings...not some precurser to more bad news. I don't want to be the strong responsible person anymore. Maybe I'll run away from home...can you run away from home when you own the house? No? Fine then, I'll just stop cleaning it.

....OK, I got that out of my system and feel a little better. I guess it's time to find a way to make my step-mom's breast cancer diagnosis funny because I'm sure not spotting the silver lining here.

A Day in the Life of a Girl Geek

I love being a girl geek...except when it sucks.

I'm in the midst of a training for some cool new skill that will theoretically earn me more money someday. Yay! Truth be told, the money doesn't motivate me at all. I love taking classes. I would be in school all the time if I could.

Learning new things, forcing my brain to work through some convoluted programming trick, figuring out which wire to connect to which device to make the lights come on...my heaven in a nutshell. When in doubt and the DVD player isn't working, take it apart and fire up the soldering iron. Doesn't everyone do that?

Now I understand that most girls don't enjoy spending an evening building a computer. Fine. I am very used to being the only woman in the room at these things. Hell, considering that my job has me mostly surrounded by engineers and A/V technicians, I am ALWAYS used to being the only woman in the room. It usually doesn't bother me.

We may have come a long way baby, but lots of guys still get pretty uncomfortable when I walk in to solve their technical problems. Lord help them if I have to crawl up into the ceiling to pull some cable to do it...they just don't know what to do with themselves. Should they help me? Should they stare at my breasts? It's all so confusing.

So I walk into the classroom today, a room full of guys who are not only going to training...they are getting out of the office to be with other tech guys. It's fun and competitive. It means short days in training, late nights at the bar bonding with the other techs, and many beers with the trainer picking up the tab. It's totally guy time...and then I walk in. Now it takes them a minute to realize I am not the secretary. In fact it takes them way too long to figure it out considering I'm carrying a laptop and a tool box, but oh well.

The trainer always makes a big deal out of having a girl in the class. "Hey, the last time we had a girl here was, well...the last time you were here." Yes I know, I was there. The guys seem mildly amused that I have my own stocked tool box, just like a real tech. I begin the internal countdown, waiting for the inevitable joke where they pretend to be surprised that my screwdriver set isn't pink. There it is...4 minutes. Cute guys, never heard that one before.

Going through the motions of becoming one of the guys comes second nature to me. Swear a little at the right times, remember to laugh at the dirty jokes, be better at all of the skills than they are but pretend you don't know that you are better and all is good after a few hours. It just bugs me that I feel the need to prove myself at all. I think it's one of those men/women differences. The guys are definitely competitive, but they just want to be better than the others for the hell of it. There is no sense of needing to prove they are qualified to even be in the room. I know I am better than most of them, but I really want them to know it too. Why is that?

Class ends for the day and we head to the bar. Most have figured out that I am hard to offend, so they have relaxed a bit and are having a good time. Hell, I'm one of the guys now...or am I? Strangely, I am the center of attention (and if you know me, you know that's not my style). They seem oddly amazed that my work days are just like theirs. A few of the guys want to see the pictures of the install job I told them about because it sounds really cool. They keep talking about how they wish the women around their offices were more like me, less uptight, more like one of the guys. The day of competing to be better than each other has become a competition for my attention. I'm a novelty and they are fascinated. It's kind of weird but also really fun.

Did I mention that I love being a girl geek.

Pretty Butterflies

I made a trip to the Butterfly Pavilion at the Natural History Museum this weekend, and I finally remembered to bring my camera. There is something magical about all of those butterflies flying around all over the place. Thought I would share a few pics with everyone.


If you blow this one up, you can actually see it drinking necter out of the flower...very cool.






A cocoon


A monarch caterpiller

You can see the rest of the pictures from the day on my Flickr Page

Make sure a view a few of the butterfly pics at the largest size...I never noticed before just how much butterflies look like bugs! For some reason they always seemed less buglike to me.

Mrs. World 2006...Take 2

I don't know what is the funniest part of this video. Could it be:

a. When they crowned the wrong person.

b. When the stage manager yells at the idiot who crowned the wrong person.

c. The outraged reactions of the other contestants. "This is not a reality show!"

d. The poor kid that they dangle from the ceiling to deliver the crown.

e. Mrs. Russia pretending to be surprised when they announce her as the winner during the 2nd take.

f. Mrs. Russia dancing around the stage after she gets the crown.

g. That the credits list the choreographers as Frit and Frat Fuller...I'm serious watch the whole clip.

I wish I had watched this thing when it aired.

I don't want to be a grown up...

When exactly did it happen? When did I stop being my parent's kid and become my parent's caretaker.

I wish I could remember the one clear defining moment, it would be easier. The difficult truth is there isn't one exact moment when the role shifted. If there was, the decisions would be much simpler. The reality is that the role shifts in different ways on a daily basis.

I look at them and in an amazing barrage of feeling and emotion I see both my childhood and my future in their eyes. With one glance I can feel like a 5 year old being reprimanded and in the next I worry what will happen if they find where I hid the car keys.

Do I try to find ways to let them think they are still in control or do I just tell them that I am actually making most of their decisions? Which actually shows them more respect for their dignity? What would I want in their position? It is one of the few questions about myself that I honestly don't know the answer to.

I wonder how aware they are of this dance to which we are trying to figure out the steps. How much of their feelings about all of this do they shield me from? I suspect it is more than I will ever want to know. Deep down, we all hate the dance but we know it is the way it must be. We play our parts because we love each other and there isn't a choice...and once in blue moon life rewards us with one of those ever rarer moments where we forget that the roles have shifted.

Why you need to understand the DMCA.

I'm about to delve into tech talk...forgive me.

For those of you that don't work in or are obsessed with technology, you may not have even heard of the DMCA. The "Digital Millennium Copyright Act" (DMCA) was passed by the congress in 1998 in an effort to establish laws for dealing with copyright infringement related to new technologies. Existing theft and copyright laws were doing a dismal job of handling issues like music downloads or software piracy. A noble cause at it's core...artists and programmers deserve protection from theft just like other industries do.

It's a tricky problem, though. How do you crack down on a kid that downloads a song or computer program he should have paid for? Ethically, it's only a little different than shoplifting the CD from Walmart. Unlike shoplifting there are no security guards or cameras to notice the crime. Let's take a walk through the logic that has led to the DMCA of today:

1. Can't go after the kid? then go after the websites that provide access to steal the music and software...hence the shutdown of Napster. Problem is someone clever figured out a way to share the stolen files without a centralized website.

2. Can't go after a website? then go after the people that write software that makes it easier for people to steal stuff online. Problem is, the software has legal uses too so it is difficult to shut them down. At best, record companies sue them until they are out of business.

3. Can't go after the software creators? then encourage companies to develop their own software that will make their music and software impossible to steal. Problem is, the copy protection software causes all sorts of problems for people who legally purchase the stuff. At best, they interfere with the ability to listen to the music you have purchased. At worst, they install viruses and security risks onto your computer without warning. The ultimate irony, folks that are stealing the file easily find ways around the copy protection.

4. Copy protection is failing? then go after anyone who provides information about how to make it fail. Here we finally come to the one area of the law that has provided some successes to the industry. Successes in court at least. Destroying individuals that create or share information about software security vulnerabilities has become a full time endeavor for many companies. The problem is, people pointing out security flaws in software are not really lawbreakers, they are investigating and sharing information. Should they really be held criminally liable for the things others do to exploit the vulnerabilities that already exist in the software?

The big question you are probably asking (assuming of course that you have hung in with me this long...yay you!) is why should you care. You should care because a new round of legislation is coming that will push the boundaries of these laws even further. The legislation will increase the penalties for copyright crimes. It will also add more benign activities to the list of copyright crimes. Finally it will create and fund an agency within the FBI that is tasked with monitoring and enforcing these laws. This agency will be empowered with a new range of wiretapping and datatapping abilities.

Ok, Ok...I know, you may still be asking yourself why you should care. Let me give you a "for example": You purchase a shiny new Ipod and you want to listen to some of your favorite Beatle's songs on it when you go for a run in the morning. You pop your Beatle's CD into your computer and rip the songs into Itunes so you can upload it onto your Ipod. So far so good, right? Wrong. The record company installed some protection software on the CD to prevent it from being copied...unfortunately the protection software wasn't good enough to prevent the music from being transferred to your Ipod. You have unwittingly circumvented their security measures and technically you have violated their copyright...punishable up to 10 years in prison. Is anyone really going to come after you for this? No, but we shouldn't be passing laws that allow people to come after you for ridiculous things like this.

Here is another "for example" for you: You work at a place that allows a lot of telecommuting. Due to the large files that you and your workmates need to use, your company has set up a filesharing system to make is faster to share recently updated file changes between team members. As a result, you have an unusually large amount of data uploading and downloading from your home internet connection. You paid good money for your internet connection and all of the files are legal, so there is no problem here...right? Wrong. Your internet provider has an agreement with the FBI to tip them off to unusual internet activity from their customers. As a result they bring you to the FBI's attention who begins intercepting and examining all of the data going to and from your computer. Every confidential work document, every internet search, every email...everything. Is there any real immediate damage here? Probably not as you wouldn't even be aware that it was happening. Are you comfortable with government agencies having the power to spy on you for no reason other than you use the internet a lot? I'm not!

So what can you do?

1. Pay attention and speak up! Right now the loudest voices are the recording and software companies. Congress needs to here that we are aware of these issues and we care about our digital rights.

2. Support organizations that defend your digital rights. The EFF comes to mind.

One last thought to send you on your way...someone downloading child porn will face a sentence of up to 5 years. Someone downloading illegal music will face a sentence of up to 10 years. Something is clearly out of whack here.

Who Knew???

How did I miss what a cool chick the singer Pink is? Maybe I just dismissed her as too "overmarketed pop"* for my tastes. I started to think twice when I saw her "Stupid Girls" video...very funny if you're the type of person who get's sad when little girls emulate Paris Hilton. When I stumbled across this video clip this morning, I became an instant fan:



A quick Google shows that the version on the album was recorded with the Indigo Girls...I love them. I am soooo buying this album.


* I may mock pop music but my confession is that there is a certain Kelly Clarkson song that seems to rise to the top of my current playlist lately when I'm alone in my car and in the mood to sing really loud. Shhhhhhh...don't tell anyone. It's one of my dirtly little secrets.

Harry Taylor is my hero

I am difficult to please. More often than not when I see someone advocate for ideas that I agree with, I get frustrated with the way they do it.

Trust me, I know how obnoxious that sounds. Here I am, safely living my life...rarely making an effort to publicly stand up for the issues that I feel passionately about. Who the hell am I to criticize when someone stands up for something?

It's just that I get so tired of people exaggerating the debates. There is a tendency in activists to make their point by underlining the ridiculousness of the other side's point...the thing is, the other side's opinion usually isn't ridiculous. There is often some merit to be found in both sides. I have always believed that the most persuasive debaters honestly acknowledge the strengths in their opponents arguments. They can then clearly show why their position is stronger.

I really believe that the public is more than aware when they are being fed theater instead of facts. I also believe that are less likely to respect you and your cause when they recognize the theater. It's patronizing. My case for the cause I believe in is ultimately weakened by someone else's bad dramatic protest.

Every now and then, though, I come across something like the clip below. This man (Harry Taylor) speaking up at a public event is clear, eloquent, polite and respectful...even as he rips the President a new one. I am proud to be on his side.

I can only hope that if presented with the same opportunity, I would have the courage and ability to do the same thing.

Musical Memories

I'm sitting in the dentists office listening to the horrible easy listening music meant to soothe me while I'm being tortured, when a song comes on that instantly transports me back to being 16 years old. I'm sitting at the movies with my first love. I hadn't ever had a broken heart...my first one was still a few months away. I can absolutely remember what it felt like to be free and invincible. Everything I felt, I felt completely through every ounce of my body. Life was perfect and intense and dramatic and exciting and enormous and laid out before me to take me in any direction that I could imagine.

I can remember how it felt to really wonder what would come next. That tingly feeling that would run to the tips of toes when his arm would accidentally brush against mine. (It probably wasn't an accident, was it?) Sitting in the dark, wishing with all of my will that he would put his arm around me, hold me, touch me, kiss me...yet at the same time, relishing the feeling of anticipation waiting for something to happen. When was the last time I had butterflies like that in my stomach?

I love that I can close my eyes and instantly be transported back to those memories and feelings. I would hate to think that even though I have matured beyond some of those emotions and perspectives, that I could never experience them again...even if only through memory.

Even I'm not that cynical

So I'm watching the morning news and I hear some ditzy co-host entertain the idea that the latest military action in Samarra, Iraq might have been ordered by President Bush for purely political reasons. I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at the television.

Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy the public opinion implosion that is happening to the Bush administration and the Republican party as much as the next liberal democrat. It's about time more people started placing some accountability where it belongs for the foreign relations mess our country is in. What bugs me is the caricatures that we create for our political leaders.

When Bush is the good guy, he is John Wayne riding up on a horse to rescue the nation from evil. He is our knight in shining armor coming to save the distressed damsel. He is patriotism incarnate and disagreeing with him means you hate America. Go Team!

When Bush is bad, he is an evil warlord out to conquer the world. He is motivated only by greed or manipulated only by the greed of the people around him. He cares for no human being and in his soul he craves only power. He is a devil who would cheerfully send young men to die in order to get a bump in the polls. Booo...hissss!

What the hell is going on here?

Do these exaggerations come from the press because they think we are too stupid and lazy to grasp the issues so they dumb them down into cartoons for us? Do they come from politicians because they hope that we will be too stupid and lazy to notice? Do they come from the public because we actually are stupid and lazy?

Do I believe that Bush has made some terrible mistakes in his fight against terrorism? I sure do. He has surrounded himself with poor advisors and failed to surround himself with anyone who would challenge him. He has been arrogant and short-sighted and failed to truly take in the global damage that his policies have done. That being said, I believe he is human. I believe he struggles with the choices he makes to send troops to die. I believe he is truly motivated by the idea that he is doing the right things for this country and for the world. He is not evil... he is just wrong.

I do not believe that Bush, Cheney and Rumsfield sit in the oval office rubbing their hands together, laughing maniacally and calculating the money they are making from oil interests...do you? Then why are we painting that picture? Turning them into stereotypes only weakens the arguments against their policies. When cooler heads prevail, we look foolish and so does our case. Don't make the debate about the caricature, make it about the cause.

Anything less is a waste of everyone's time.

The Moms in my Life.

There is nothing like the word "Cancer" to get you thinking.

I grew up in a very small, close-knit school. Everyone knew everyone and parents were involved. The thing about that kind of environment is that everyone's mom becomes your mom. The moms were always at field trips or planning special activities. They were cleaning our cuts when we fell down and they were scolding us when we did wrong. They were helping us set up tents on campouts and at night after the kids were in sleeping bags, they were playing cards and having a cup of wine by the fire. Sure we could joke around with them, but we ALWAYS respected them. As a kid, it never crossed my mind that their word carried less weight than my own mom.

What hadn't occurred to me until recently was the amazing place that these moms still hold in my life as an adult. Sure I saw them and said hello just like I did with all of the other adults who knew me as a kid, but subconsciously I knew they were different. When they ask how I'm doing and hear about my successes, I can see the pride in their eyes. When they think I am making mistakes in my life, they kindly tell me why...and it never feels like they are overstepping their bounds. When I tell them the rare tea they are drinking smells good, they don't just tell me where they got it...they bring me a box. And when they get sick...I care. Not just in the old "Oh how sad, she's a nice lady" way, I really care.

It is such a cliche that you don't appreciate the blessings in your life until you envision them gone. I never realized how fortunate I was to grow up with such an amazing group of moms around who cared for me and provided me wonderful examples of the kind of woman I could become. I am even more fortunate to still know them. I wish there was some way to tell them how much I appreciate them but I'm guessing that like my own mom, deep down they already know.

Don't you roll your eyes at me...

You can't judge a blog by it's title. On it's surface you may assume this is your average "angry woman rant". Not true my friend. The title is a reflection of a few things.

1. Yes I am a woman, a strong one at that. You should see me carry a television. I am often shy but that doesn't mean I don't like to talk about things that interest me or make me laugh. On it's simplest level, the title just indicates that this is the place for me to do just that.
2. Women have the reputation for manipulating to get what they want...and unfortunately many women have the propensity to do just that. Drives me crazy. I believe that it stems from a lack of confidence to actually stand up for what they believe they deserve. It takes guts to just speak the truth about what you think, how you feel and what you need. So while many women play games and manipulate to get their point across...Strong Women Talk.

My interests are wide and varied and eclectic (a nastier person might call them random and unfocused). Enjoy.