I'll be the first to admit it. I love my cell phone in an unnatural way.
It takes pictures, plays videos, browses the internet, has this cute little keyboard hidden inside and gets kick-ass reception in places where nobody else can make a call. It's the only phone I use, sure I have a phone line in my house for the DSL line but I never use it or give out the number. If I ever lost my cell phone, there are people I would probably never speak to again as it is the only place I store most of my phone numbers. With all of the medical crisis of late, it has been very comforting for both me and my family that it makes me always reachable. I live and die by my cell phone. Plus it sings me my favorite "They Might be Giants" song when I get a call. Swoon.
As much as I love my cell phone, I try very hard not to be "obnoxious cell phone girl". You know that girl...she's the one having clearly private conversations very loudly in the middle of the grocery store. Or she's the one who answers a call in the middle of a restaurant. Or also the person who forgets to turn off the ringer in very inappropriate places like the museum or church.
What I will admit to is...now don't judge me...I talk on the phone while I drive. Booooo, hisssss. I know, I know it's bad. I should pull over or wait until I get home, but I can't seem to help it. Driving time is such a glorious, unscheduled opportunity for me to get a hold of people that I never seem to make the time to call otherwise. Now in my defense, I do use I wireless earpiece (it's cute and techie, of course I do) and if traffic gets dodgy I hang up in a heartbeat.
All of this leads me to my drive home from work. I hit a bicycler. Actually in an "it could only happen to me" way, a biker ran into my car. Now I know what you are thinking, I was probably yakking on the phone, not paying attention and caused this little incident. Cross my heart, it wasn't my fault. I was on the phone, but it really wasn't my fault. I was stopped at a red light, waiting for things to clear so I could turn right when WHAM! My poor mom got a quick "Oh shit! someone just hit me, I have to go" click. I can only imagine what she was thinking. I quickly pulled around the corner into a driveway to make sure the guy was OK.
I was freaked out. Getting startled in your car always means something bad has happened and I was definitely startled. I got out of the car and immediately went over to ask if the guy was OK. Instantly he is on his feet yelling at me about how I need to be more carefull and muttering under his breath about those damn cell phones. I stood there for a second trying to sort out what was happening. I knew he wasn't hurt as he was standing and walking and yelling at me quite well, but hey...why was he yelling at me?! My befuddled brain tried to make sense of the situation when suddenly something clicked. I had one of those rare moments where I think I handled a difficult situation exactly right.
Despite his yelling, I stood up as tall as I could and calmly said:
Me: Hey, we both know what really just happened here so calm down. First of all, are you OK?
Him: Yes I'm OK, but FUCK! You need to pay more attention when you're driving...talking on your phone ...mutter mutter...stupid bitch...mutter mutter.
Me: Stop right there. I was stopped when you ran into my car and we both know it so you need to stop yelling at me right now. You were riding way too fast on a public sidewalk when you should have been in the bike line on the other side of the street. You darted out into the street from behind a big bush, so I can understand why you didn't see me but I know you didn't have a green light. I did nothing wrong here and you did everything wrong, so you can quit yelling at me and blaming my phone call.
Him: (much more sheepishly, but still quite defensive) Well, I'm on my way home...in a hurry...you know how it is. but still...
Me: I understand, but you have got to be more careful. I'm glad you're OK and we aren't going to worry about the little dent you put in my passenger door.
Him: Look, I don't want to argue. You're OK, I'm OK Just be more careful when you're on the phone.
Me: I want to be real clear here. This was not my fault. I wasn't even moving. You will leave here and tell this story any way you choose, but right here right now I want you to know that I am aware this was your fault. and as I look you in the eye, I can tell you know it too so drop the lecture. Save it for the version you tell your friends about the obnoxious lady who ran you down.
That was that, he rode off and I sat in my car for 10 minutes until I stopped shaking. I'm not sure why it was so important to me that he acknowledge it wasn't my fault, but I kind of think I was defending my phone. It was just doing it's job and it really wasn't our fault. My poor, defenseless phone was being attacked and it needed someone to stand up for it's honor. How twisted am I?
Oh well, my phone's singing to me so I better go.
"...make a little birdhouse in your soul...."
2 comments:
I have to say "You go Girl." I would have probably done the same! Although, I'm not in "love" with my phone, they are important and who else is going to defend them, but us? All I wanted to say was keep up the good work;)
Years ago I got clobbered by an 8 year old boy who was riding the devils wind--on a sidewalk in the wrong direction! I was at rest at stop sign coming out of a shopping center. I was looking to the left at a long line of cars and Whammo! from the right side! In my VW microbus I stood on the brake and craned my head up and down, saying WTF was that? I almost drove off, but my curiosity demanded an answer. I set the brake and got out. The kid was dazed, his bike trashed and my door dented. I picked him up, reparked and we went into the store to call his mother. She collected him. That night, his father called me, completely drunk and went on and on about how the kid deserved it! I felt bad for the kid! What a father!
Post a Comment