Moving On

At long last, I'm moving my blog over to my own domain and setting things up all fancy like! I've had my own domain for years, not sure why it's taken me this long to do this.

Maybe this big move, will reinvigorate me to write more. I hope so. Either way, come find me over at Simbalu.com. It's pretty.

Help Me Help You

I like computers. I like to play with them, teach people about them, install things on them, build them and yes...I even kind of like to fix them. Techie folks like to make "woe is me" jokes about how we are the personal computer repair person for all our friends and family but I think we all kind of enjoy it.

There is something very satisfying about figuring out and solving moderately challenging problems. Rooting out that stubborn bit of spyware or finding and replacing a failing memory chip. Bonus comes when every now and then we get to acquire some fun story to trot out at nerd parties like the computer power problem I fixed by plugging in the power cord or the "broken" printer issue I resolved by explaining to it's owner that if they wanted to print color they would need to actually purchase a color printer...the black & white one wouldn't do. True stories, both of them.

There are the occasional moments that make me want to tear my hair out, though, so I offer some guidance for folks thinking about hitting up a loved one about that weird window popping up lately.


I won't care about your problem more than you do.
If you can't remember anything about what happens when your computer crashes, it is difficult for me to help you. What you were eating or watching on TV when it happened doesn't count.

I give everyone a pass the first or second time they forget to take notice of what an error message says. They can be stressful, I understand. If by the third or fourth time you still haven't bothered to write it down, don't be surprised if I lose interest pretty quickly.


Please don't make stuff up.
I know you don't mean to lie to me, it just happens. Word to the wise, if I ask you a question and you answer me confidently and definitively...I will believe you. Because you are my friend and I like you. If you are answering my question with an educated guess because it seems like it should be the right answer, for the love of all that is holy TELL ME. I promise I won't judge you for not knowing.

Not giving me a heads up when you are guessing turns me into a bitter woman who has forgotten how to trust...at least when it comes to matters of wireless network configuration or any time a sentence ends with the phrase "I am 100% sure".


Be prepared to learn something.
Everyone gets the occasional virus. Don't worry about it, I'll help you get rid of it and make sure your security software is up to date. Calling me for the third time in a month because of the same virus and still not having any idea what to do about it makes my head explode. I don't expect you to know everything but at that point, you should be able to run a virus scan.

Think of it this way...if you call your brother-in-law to come over and help you with your pool because you are trying to save some money on a pool guy, expect him to come over and teach you how to use the tools and mix the chemicals. If you really don't want to touch or learn anything at all about the pool, hire a pool guy. And no, I don't know a good pool guy I can refer you to.


Make me dinner.
If I know you and love you, I won't take your money. Don't even try to give it to me. Cooking me dinner, buying me a drink or volunteering to help me paint my living room is more than enough. (As for that last one, I'm totally taking you up on that soon...you know who you are.) If you live far away, offering to take me out to dinner even if it might never happen is also perfectly acceptable.

All I really need is not to have to hear about how some jerk from The Geek Squad took advantage of you or made you feel stupid. Because that makes me sad. And angry at some of the jerks working for the Geek Squad. Seriously, where do they find some of those guys?

------------------------------------------------

Likewise, I will promise to keep all of these things in mind next time I ask you about that strange sound my car has been making. Deal?

To Olympic or not to Olympic?

I believe that I am a pretty good debater. Not because I am the smartest or the most well informed...but because I am pretty good at seeing both sides of an issue. I have always been a believer that the strongest way to argue your point is to

1. Understand the arguments against you
2. Recognize and acknowledge their strengths
3. Systematically tear those strengths to shreds by demonstrating how your strengths are ...well... stronger. (Clearly my well-spokenedness also contributes to me being the most awsomest debate-type-person ever!)
   

I am empathetic by nature (notice I didn't say sympathetic...BIG difference) so understanding all sides of an issue comes very easily to me. While normally I appreciate that about myself, there are times when it leaves me stuck. Times when I can so clearly see the merit in the different arguments that I become incapable of deciding how I feel. This is how the China Summer Olympics have left me...stuck.

I love watching the Olympics. I am more of a Winter Olympics girl, but the Summer games usualy excite me as well. The spirit of it, the excitement as the unexpected stories unfold...all of it keeps me loading up my Tivo for a few weeks every two years. This year is different though. I am having a hard time buying into the Olympic spirit while China is hosting the games.

It feels wrong to jump in and commit to my Olympic obsession when they are in a country that treats its people so badly. I can't forget the censorship and opression that so many face. It doesn't help that China has very publicly decided to enforce that censorship on the foreign journalists and visitors attending the games. It just sort of rubs salt in the wound. The Olympics bring big cash to the host country and watching it feels like I'm contributing to their windfall.

As I decide whether or not to watch the replay of the opening ceremonies tonight, I already know that I will see little to no footage on the Tibet protesters that were arrested for being in the vicinity of the ceremony in posession of the wrong flag. NBC's feeds are all being passed through the government censors and they have been notified that they can expect their telephone and internet access to be monitored. Hardly an environment to get accurate coverage of the entire Olympic story.

On the other side, I can appreciate that the spotlight on China only raises awareness of it's shortcomings in the human rights department. I am aware that in this day and age there is no practical way for China to keep the damaging stories from getting out. There are too many tourists with cameras walking around to prevent amatuer reporting of the stories that the major networks may have trouble covering in real time. I am more than a little bit fascinated by that idea. I also really hate the idea of the athletes feeling less recognized and appreciated due to a location that they had no control over.

So what to do. I will probably allow myself to get sucked in as I always do, but it just won't feel as pure as it should. I am annoyed and sad that the International Olympic Committee chose China and put many in the position of feeling like watching a diving competition is somehow a moral decision.

One In One Hundred

In this country we don't like to think about prisons. I mean REALLY think about prisons. We like to talk about things like being tough on crime, debts to society, laws named after legitimately wronged little girls and mandatory sentencing. We don't, however, like to talk about the reality of the people we have sitting in cells.

We dance around the subject. It doesn't come up in polite conversation. People can speak passionately about how the incarcerated should be treated harshly while never really attempting to identify with the realities of being incarcerated. Many seem to feel entitled to remain ignorant about the issues at hand because they have never really broken the law so it shouldn't have to affect them...but is that really true?

I challenge you to find someone who hasn't been peripherally exposed to someone who has been incarcerated. Given the results of The Pew Center study I linked to in the title, I suspect you would have a hard time finding anyone who isn't exposed to someone impacted by a friend or family member in a prison or jail right now. For every 100 people in this country, 1 of them is incarcerated at this very moment. If you really let that number sink in, the magnitude is staggering.

A few fun facts for you:

• Approximately 2.3 million individuals are currently incarcerated in the US. That is only slightly less than the entire population of the state of Nevada (2.5 million)
• The US incarcerates more people than any other nation in the world. We also incarcerate a higher percentage of our population than any other nation in the world. Our inmate population is larger than the 26 largest European inmate populations...combined.
• There are currently 1 million more individuals incarcerated than actively serving in the US military.
• 1 in 9 black men between the ages of 18-34 is currently incarcerated.
• 1 out of every 8.3 California State Employees works for the Department of Corrections.
• For every $1.06 that the state of Oregon spends on corrections, $1.00 is spent on higher education.
• 9.3% of the general fund for the state of Florida was spent on corrections.
• 67% of former prisoners are rearrested within 3 years of their release. 52% are re-incarcerated.
• Of the 33 prisons in the state of California, all of them are exceeding 100% of their designed capacity. 16 have populations in excess of 200% of their designed capacity. Many have bunk beds in hallways, gyms, recreation rooms, office spaces and some have even place mattresses in prison chapels to accommodate the population.

Is it really possible to believe that we are not all affected by the prison system in this nation? We all pay for it. We know the friends and family members of those directly impacted by an incarcerated loved one. We live with the inhabitants when they are released. It is time to start addressing the issues associated with how we handle the people who violate our laws. We need to discuss and debate it. We need our politicians to be able to confront it realistically without the threat of being labeled soft on crime.

What is our main goal in incarcerating such a large percentage of our population?

If the goal is to protect society, I suggest that we are failing. A early look at the 2007 crime rates seem to indicate that states such as New York and California who have substantially reduced their prison populations in 2007, have experienced similar if not better reductions in crime rates than states such as Florida. Florida's prison population increased 5% in in 2007 due to lengthening of prison stays and a zero tolerance policy in regard to probation violations.

If our goal is to reform offenders, again I say we have failed with our current system. Recidivism rates over 50% show how sadly we are addressing the concept of reform. It is understandable, however. Given the current inmate population levels states are struggling to feed and house them, leaving little in the budget for programs that offer new opportunities for prisoners upon release.

If the goal is simply to punish, I am left with one question. How much are you willing to pay for the sense of satisfaction of incarcerating non-violent offenders? The vast majority of the incarcerated are serving time for non-violent offences, often drug offences. Is this really the best of use of state and federal resources...let alone of these people's lives?

We are failing and it is costing us dearly, both financially and socially. In a democracy, when we see weaknesses and failures in our system we have a responsibility to address them. We must learn about them and hold our elected officials responsible for failing to acknowledge them. By ignoring the flaws in our criminal justice system we risk personally falling victim to them.

Now I admit that I am over-simplifying a very complex problem. This is a real problem, however, and we are ignoring it. We can not afford to remain entitled to our ignorance.

I don't know what to believe in anymore

I was cooking dinner the other night - rice with a honey vinager sauce, some steamed vegetables...a normal dinner around my house. As I was making the sauce I noticed a fly circling the kitchen and occasionaly making a dive for the vinegar. It struck me as strange given that there was honey out as well, but that fly just kept going for the vinegar.

I though for a moment and then did what anyone would have done in the situation. I put out one bowl of honey, another bowl of vinegar and left town for the weekend. What's that you say? You don't know anyone who would do that? Now you're just messing with my head.

So I returned home tonight and to my surprise I found three little flies floating atop of my bowl of balsamic vinigar and an untouched bowl of honey.

There you have it...You catch more flies with vinegar than you do with honey.

Now I suppose you are going to tell me that you don't know anyone who would have taken a picture and blogged about it either. Yeah right.

Random Things That Make Me Happy.

Hot air balloons always make me smile...especially when they sneak up on me.

I wonder why.

Is it just me or do you smell smoke?

I'm starting to think that the only time I get around to posting these days is when something irritates me or when something is burning down. What can I say, I guess I get easily distracted... oooh look something shiny.

As with everyone in Southern California (or perhaps the country) I have been a bit focused on the fires over the last few days. Nothing is burning near me so all I am really suffering from is itchy eyes from the smoke in the air and sore thumbs from constant texting to various friends in the truly affected areas. Poor me.

I did start a group over on Flickr a few days ago to try to start aggregating the many pictures that were coming in from all over the area. If you have a second, you really ought to check it out. Some of the pictures these people are taking are amazing. You will find the group here.



I have stumbed across something interesting over the course of running the group, though. Over the last few days, I've done a lot of searching for fire pictures to encourage people to post them to the group and I have been noticing the saddest phenomenon.

I would come across a bunch of pictures of people's random things...a box of DVDs, a chair, a child's bedroom...all tagged with the word fire so they would pop up in my search.

It wasn't until yesterday that I finally figured out what it was. People were quickly taking pictures to inventory their houses for insurance purposes and then uploading them to Flickr before they evacuate. Some were even tagging them as such.

I just have the saddest image of somebody scared walking around their house taking pictures wondering if the images will be all they have left once they leave.

It's also a really interesting reflection of how technology changes how we do everything...to the point that people even turn to it instinctually during times of panic and great stress.

I won't link directly to any of these as it felt too personal to even look at them once I realized what they were...but I'm sure you can find them if you try.

The Hills Still Aren't The Same

As many of my friends know, I was very sad about the Griffith Park fire.

Don't get me wrong. I fully appreciate how lucky everyone is that no one was hurt and I think the firemen were amazing to save all of the historic structures and homes. I just love the park and I hated to see it scarred.

Staying out of the park the last month has been difficult. It is my favorite regular hiking spot. I am the first to tell people how wrong I think it is to try and sneak into the burn areas as the land needs to heal...and it doesn't need us stomping all over it while it does. I also share in the frustrations held by many that we are be kept out of large portions of the hills where there has been no fire.

Conspiracy theories abound that the reason the majority of the park is closed is to make it easier for the powers-that-be to push through a new master plan allowing for more paving and deveoloping of the land. It is getting harder to call these theories crazy. There is definitely a group of people that would like to see Griffith Park opened up for more commercial uses. Parking lots, restauraunts, paved roads...the list goes on and on. All of these plans backed by arguments that talk about opening the park up for everyone and helping it to pay for itself. The problem is, of course, that the plan calls for a destruction of the very thing it is "developing".

Things change, time marches on, but sometimes you have to let things remain. Not everything should change. Not everything has to be fully accessible to everyone. Not everything has to be able to generate money for the city. When you are blessed with an urban wilderness as special as Griffith Park, it is the responsibility of the City of Los Angeles and the residents of the city to protect it.

http://savegriffithpark.org/

Haven't I been here before?

Hey there, guess what? I think I have a blog. I'm still trying to confirm it as all evidence points to the contrary. You know, I haven't actually been writing any posts to a blog lately. Also I don't actually feel any creative inspiration to post to a blog at the moment...hmmmm. Strangely though, this blog here seems awful familiar and I do have the password and all. I guess we'll just see what happens.

I guess a good place to start would be Alaska, since the last time anyone heard from me I was heading there. I could go on and on about the details, but yawn. Instead I'm putting out a call for anyone who can identify an oddity that I spotted while in the Inside Passage.

From a distance I spotted this:



I couldn't quite tell what it was until we got a bit closer and zoomed in on this:



It is a huge house built on a barge. Definitely not your standard houseboat! It was being pulled by this little tugboat and my favorite part was it seemed to be towing it's own little guest house here:



I just know there is a fun story here if I could only track it down. Some clever retiree that figured out a tax loophole if he only spent so much time tethered to land... or ... some famous recluse that found the wilds of Alaska too populated for him so he took to the sea.

Someone out there knows the story here...please share.

Hey...you dented my passenger door with your elbow.

I'll be the first to admit it. I love my cell phone in an unnatural way.

It takes pictures, plays videos, browses the internet, has this cute little keyboard hidden inside and gets kick-ass reception in places where nobody else can make a call. It's the only phone I use, sure I have a phone line in my house for the DSL line but I never use it or give out the number. If I ever lost my cell phone, there are people I would probably never speak to again as it is the only place I store most of my phone numbers. With all of the medical crisis of late, it has been very comforting for both me and my family that it makes me always reachable. I live and die by my cell phone. Plus it sings me my favorite "They Might be Giants" song when I get a call. Swoon.

As much as I love my cell phone, I try very hard not to be "obnoxious cell phone girl". You know that girl...she's the one having clearly private conversations very loudly in the middle of the grocery store. Or she's the one who answers a call in the middle of a restaurant. Or also the person who forgets to turn off the ringer in very inappropriate places like the museum or church.

What I will admit to is...now don't judge me...I talk on the phone while I drive. Booooo, hisssss. I know, I know it's bad. I should pull over or wait until I get home, but I can't seem to help it. Driving time is such a glorious, unscheduled opportunity for me to get a hold of people that I never seem to make the time to call otherwise. Now in my defense, I do use I wireless earpiece (it's cute and techie, of course I do) and if traffic gets dodgy I hang up in a heartbeat.

All of this leads me to my drive home from work. I hit a bicycler. Actually in an "it could only happen to me" way, a biker ran into my car. Now I know what you are thinking, I was probably yakking on the phone, not paying attention and caused this little incident. Cross my heart, it wasn't my fault. I was on the phone, but it really wasn't my fault. I was stopped at a red light, waiting for things to clear so I could turn right when WHAM! My poor mom got a quick "Oh shit! someone just hit me, I have to go" click. I can only imagine what she was thinking. I quickly pulled around the corner into a driveway to make sure the guy was OK.

I was freaked out. Getting startled in your car always means something bad has happened and I was definitely startled. I got out of the car and immediately went over to ask if the guy was OK. Instantly he is on his feet yelling at me about how I need to be more carefull and muttering under his breath about those damn cell phones. I stood there for a second trying to sort out what was happening. I knew he wasn't hurt as he was standing and walking and yelling at me quite well, but hey...why was he yelling at me?! My befuddled brain tried to make sense of the situation when suddenly something clicked. I had one of those rare moments where I think I handled a difficult situation exactly right.

Despite his yelling, I stood up as tall as I could and calmly said:

Me: Hey, we both know what really just happened here so calm down. First of all, are you OK?

Him: Yes I'm OK, but FUCK! You need to pay more attention when you're driving...talking on your phone ...mutter mutter...stupid bitch...mutter mutter.

Me: Stop right there. I was stopped when you ran into my car and we both know it so you need to stop yelling at me right now. You were riding way too fast on a public sidewalk when you should have been in the bike line on the other side of the street. You darted out into the street from behind a big bush, so I can understand why you didn't see me but I know you didn't have a green light. I did nothing wrong here and you did everything wrong, so you can quit yelling at me and blaming my phone call.

Him: (much more sheepishly, but still quite defensive) Well, I'm on my way home...in a hurry...you know how it is. but still...

Me: I understand, but you have got to be more careful. I'm glad you're OK and we aren't going to worry about the little dent you put in my passenger door.

Him: Look, I don't want to argue. You're OK, I'm OK Just be more careful when you're on the phone.

Me: I want to be real clear here. This was not my fault. I wasn't even moving. You will leave here and tell this story any way you choose, but right here right now I want you to know that I am aware this was your fault. and as I look you in the eye, I can tell you know it too so drop the lecture. Save it for the version you tell your friends about the obnoxious lady who ran you down.

That was that, he rode off and I sat in my car for 10 minutes until I stopped shaking. I'm not sure why it was so important to me that he acknowledge it wasn't my fault, but I kind of think I was defending my phone. It was just doing it's job and it really wasn't our fault. My poor, defenseless phone was being attacked and it needed someone to stand up for it's honor. How twisted am I?

Oh well, my phone's singing to me so I better go.

"...make a little birdhouse in your soul...."

I Call Uncle!

I don't consider myself much of a complainer. In fact, I think most people who know me think I am pretty upbeat. I'm good at finding the silver lining in most situations. For the rare occasions where the silver linings are just too tough to spot, I'm pretty good at mocking my bad fortune sarcastically and ruthlessly. If I can't make it a positive, I'm sure as hell going to make it funny.

The unthinkable has finally happened though...I've hit my limit. The last 6 months have been filled with hospitals and bad news and airports and disappointing siblings and caretaking and cancelled plans and an evaporating personal life and AAAAAAAH!!!!

I give up. Karma wins. I don't know what I did to piss it off, just tell me what I need to do so it will lay off me a bit. rescue a puppy? feed the homeless? find world peace? Just tell me, it has to be easier than my life right now.

Someone find me a pity-pot...I need to have a seat. I'm too young to be dealing with all of this crap. I should be out having a life and having fun, not worrying constantly and researching medical treatments. I want to be carefree and happy for a little while. I want to be able to make plans that I don't secretly believe will fall through. I want it to be a good thing when the phone rings...not some precurser to more bad news. I don't want to be the strong responsible person anymore. Maybe I'll run away from home...can you run away from home when you own the house? No? Fine then, I'll just stop cleaning it.

....OK, I got that out of my system and feel a little better. I guess it's time to find a way to make my step-mom's breast cancer diagnosis funny because I'm sure not spotting the silver lining here.

A Day in the Life of a Girl Geek

I love being a girl geek...except when it sucks.

I'm in the midst of a training for some cool new skill that will theoretically earn me more money someday. Yay! Truth be told, the money doesn't motivate me at all. I love taking classes. I would be in school all the time if I could.

Learning new things, forcing my brain to work through some convoluted programming trick, figuring out which wire to connect to which device to make the lights come on...my heaven in a nutshell. When in doubt and the DVD player isn't working, take it apart and fire up the soldering iron. Doesn't everyone do that?

Now I understand that most girls don't enjoy spending an evening building a computer. Fine. I am very used to being the only woman in the room at these things. Hell, considering that my job has me mostly surrounded by engineers and A/V technicians, I am ALWAYS used to being the only woman in the room. It usually doesn't bother me.

We may have come a long way baby, but lots of guys still get pretty uncomfortable when I walk in to solve their technical problems. Lord help them if I have to crawl up into the ceiling to pull some cable to do it...they just don't know what to do with themselves. Should they help me? Should they stare at my breasts? It's all so confusing.

So I walk into the classroom today, a room full of guys who are not only going to training...they are getting out of the office to be with other tech guys. It's fun and competitive. It means short days in training, late nights at the bar bonding with the other techs, and many beers with the trainer picking up the tab. It's totally guy time...and then I walk in. Now it takes them a minute to realize I am not the secretary. In fact it takes them way too long to figure it out considering I'm carrying a laptop and a tool box, but oh well.

The trainer always makes a big deal out of having a girl in the class. "Hey, the last time we had a girl here was, well...the last time you were here." Yes I know, I was there. The guys seem mildly amused that I have my own stocked tool box, just like a real tech. I begin the internal countdown, waiting for the inevitable joke where they pretend to be surprised that my screwdriver set isn't pink. There it is...4 minutes. Cute guys, never heard that one before.

Going through the motions of becoming one of the guys comes second nature to me. Swear a little at the right times, remember to laugh at the dirty jokes, be better at all of the skills than they are but pretend you don't know that you are better and all is good after a few hours. It just bugs me that I feel the need to prove myself at all. I think it's one of those men/women differences. The guys are definitely competitive, but they just want to be better than the others for the hell of it. There is no sense of needing to prove they are qualified to even be in the room. I know I am better than most of them, but I really want them to know it too. Why is that?

Class ends for the day and we head to the bar. Most have figured out that I am hard to offend, so they have relaxed a bit and are having a good time. Hell, I'm one of the guys now...or am I? Strangely, I am the center of attention (and if you know me, you know that's not my style). They seem oddly amazed that my work days are just like theirs. A few of the guys want to see the pictures of the install job I told them about because it sounds really cool. They keep talking about how they wish the women around their offices were more like me, less uptight, more like one of the guys. The day of competing to be better than each other has become a competition for my attention. I'm a novelty and they are fascinated. It's kind of weird but also really fun.

Did I mention that I love being a girl geek.

I don't want to be a grown up...

When exactly did it happen? When did I stop being my parent's kid and become my parent's caretaker.

I wish I could remember the one clear defining moment, it would be easier. The difficult truth is there isn't one exact moment when the role shifted. If there was, the decisions would be much simpler. The reality is that the role shifts in different ways on a daily basis.

I look at them and in an amazing barrage of feeling and emotion I see both my childhood and my future in their eyes. With one glance I can feel like a 5 year old being reprimanded and in the next I worry what will happen if they find where I hid the car keys.

Do I try to find ways to let them think they are still in control or do I just tell them that I am actually making most of their decisions? Which actually shows them more respect for their dignity? What would I want in their position? It is one of the few questions about myself that I honestly don't know the answer to.

I wonder how aware they are of this dance to which we are trying to figure out the steps. How much of their feelings about all of this do they shield me from? I suspect it is more than I will ever want to know. Deep down, we all hate the dance but we know it is the way it must be. We play our parts because we love each other and there isn't a choice...and once in blue moon life rewards us with one of those ever rarer moments where we forget that the roles have shifted.

Musical Memories

I'm sitting in the dentists office listening to the horrible easy listening music meant to soothe me while I'm being tortured, when a song comes on that instantly transports me back to being 16 years old. I'm sitting at the movies with my first love. I hadn't ever had a broken heart...my first one was still a few months away. I can absolutely remember what it felt like to be free and invincible. Everything I felt, I felt completely through every ounce of my body. Life was perfect and intense and dramatic and exciting and enormous and laid out before me to take me in any direction that I could imagine.

I can remember how it felt to really wonder what would come next. That tingly feeling that would run to the tips of toes when his arm would accidentally brush against mine. (It probably wasn't an accident, was it?) Sitting in the dark, wishing with all of my will that he would put his arm around me, hold me, touch me, kiss me...yet at the same time, relishing the feeling of anticipation waiting for something to happen. When was the last time I had butterflies like that in my stomach?

I love that I can close my eyes and instantly be transported back to those memories and feelings. I would hate to think that even though I have matured beyond some of those emotions and perspectives, that I could never experience them again...even if only through memory.

The Moms in my Life.

There is nothing like the word "Cancer" to get you thinking.

I grew up in a very small, close-knit school. Everyone knew everyone and parents were involved. The thing about that kind of environment is that everyone's mom becomes your mom. The moms were always at field trips or planning special activities. They were cleaning our cuts when we fell down and they were scolding us when we did wrong. They were helping us set up tents on campouts and at night after the kids were in sleeping bags, they were playing cards and having a cup of wine by the fire. Sure we could joke around with them, but we ALWAYS respected them. As a kid, it never crossed my mind that their word carried less weight than my own mom.

What hadn't occurred to me until recently was the amazing place that these moms still hold in my life as an adult. Sure I saw them and said hello just like I did with all of the other adults who knew me as a kid, but subconsciously I knew they were different. When they ask how I'm doing and hear about my successes, I can see the pride in their eyes. When they think I am making mistakes in my life, they kindly tell me why...and it never feels like they are overstepping their bounds. When I tell them the rare tea they are drinking smells good, they don't just tell me where they got it...they bring me a box. And when they get sick...I care. Not just in the old "Oh how sad, she's a nice lady" way, I really care.

It is such a cliche that you don't appreciate the blessings in your life until you envision them gone. I never realized how fortunate I was to grow up with such an amazing group of moms around who cared for me and provided me wonderful examples of the kind of woman I could become. I am even more fortunate to still know them. I wish there was some way to tell them how much I appreciate them but I'm guessing that like my own mom, deep down they already know.

Don't you roll your eyes at me...

You can't judge a blog by it's title. On it's surface you may assume this is your average "angry woman rant". Not true my friend. The title is a reflection of a few things.

1. Yes I am a woman, a strong one at that. You should see me carry a television. I am often shy but that doesn't mean I don't like to talk about things that interest me or make me laugh. On it's simplest level, the title just indicates that this is the place for me to do just that.
2. Women have the reputation for manipulating to get what they want...and unfortunately many women have the propensity to do just that. Drives me crazy. I believe that it stems from a lack of confidence to actually stand up for what they believe they deserve. It takes guts to just speak the truth about what you think, how you feel and what you need. So while many women play games and manipulate to get their point across...Strong Women Talk.

My interests are wide and varied and eclectic (a nastier person might call them random and unfocused). Enjoy.