Monday, July 31, 2006

Click your heels three times and say...

...There's no place like Alaska
...There's no place like Alaska
...There's no place like Alaska

I need a vacation and I don't feel like a horrible person for wanting to go away while my family is struggling with all of this health crap.

Welllll... I do feel horrible of course, otherwise I wouldn't have felt the need to say I didn't. The logical part of me knows that I should go and have a good time. Yes, people I care about are sick and facing some tough stuff but I can't change that by sitting around the house feeling badly. I have spent a good portion of my adult life with the sick family cloud hanging over my head and I learned years ago that life can't stop because of it. I do KNOW these things.

Yet the emotional part of me can't imagine going away for a week while all this craziness is going on. I can't help by sitting around being sad, but I don't have to rub it on their face by going off on an adventure that they don't have the luxury of enjoying.

I know I need a break, and I know that I am heading into a long difficult stretch in the months ahead. It is actually a fortunate coincidence that this long planned vacation is falling right in the middle of a lull in the insanity. I should relish an opportunity to get away from it all since it may be a while before it happens again. I just wish I didn't feel so guilty.

I will go, I will have fun, and if I keep saying it enough times I will start to believe it! Right?

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