The shoemaker's kid has no shoes...

Guess what I did last night? Christmas is in a few days so some reasonable guesses might be: Clean the house, bake cookies, wrap presents, make pudding out of some figgys. Any of those are things I should have been doing last night.

Instead, I was rebuilding one of my computers. We will put aside any questions you might have about the statement "one of my computers" because, seriously, have you met me? Of course I have more than one computer at home. No, we will focus on the sad, sick computer in my house. Why was it sick, you ask? Because I had a virus. Shocking, I know. With all of my computer repairing wizardry, I too can be felled by the work of some l33t speaking punk in China.

This would be the point where you are probably wondering how said virus found it's way around my anti-virus program. (insert Ozzy Osbourne style mumbling here...)

...I'm sorry, you couldn't hear me? I was saying that I wasn't actually using an anti-virus program on that computer. Yes, I am hanging my head in shame. Yes, I have lectured you in the past on the importance of using an AV program all the time. Oops.

I suppose this is where you are thinking that at least it was easy to rebuild because I certainly had a recent backup handy. No one talks about backing up regularly more than I do, right? Ummmm, yeah. I've been meaning to, really. I've just been so busy lately and I ran out of spare hard drives around the house and I've been wanting to do some work on that computer before I backed it up and ummmm...oh, hush!

I am my own worst client and a cautionary tale. At least I totally learned my lesson this time. (no I didn't)

P.S. What is figgy pudding, anyways?

Help Me Help You

I like computers. I like to play with them, teach people about them, install things on them, build them and yes...I even kind of like to fix them. Techie folks like to make "woe is me" jokes about how we are the personal computer repair person for all our friends and family but I think we all kind of enjoy it.

There is something very satisfying about figuring out and solving moderately challenging problems. Rooting out that stubborn bit of spyware or finding and replacing a failing memory chip. Bonus comes when every now and then we get to acquire some fun story to trot out at nerd parties like the computer power problem I fixed by plugging in the power cord or the "broken" printer issue I resolved by explaining to it's owner that if they wanted to print color they would need to actually purchase a color printer...the black & white one wouldn't do. True stories, both of them.

There are the occasional moments that make me want to tear my hair out, though, so I offer some guidance for folks thinking about hitting up a loved one about that weird window popping up lately.


I won't care about your problem more than you do.
If you can't remember anything about what happens when your computer crashes, it is difficult for me to help you. What you were eating or watching on TV when it happened doesn't count.

I give everyone a pass the first or second time they forget to take notice of what an error message says. They can be stressful, I understand. If by the third or fourth time you still haven't bothered to write it down, don't be surprised if I lose interest pretty quickly.


Please don't make stuff up.
I know you don't mean to lie to me, it just happens. Word to the wise, if I ask you a question and you answer me confidently and definitively...I will believe you. Because you are my friend and I like you. If you are answering my question with an educated guess because it seems like it should be the right answer, for the love of all that is holy TELL ME. I promise I won't judge you for not knowing.

Not giving me a heads up when you are guessing turns me into a bitter woman who has forgotten how to trust...at least when it comes to matters of wireless network configuration or any time a sentence ends with the phrase "I am 100% sure".


Be prepared to learn something.
Everyone gets the occasional virus. Don't worry about it, I'll help you get rid of it and make sure your security software is up to date. Calling me for the third time in a month because of the same virus and still not having any idea what to do about it makes my head explode. I don't expect you to know everything but at that point, you should be able to run a virus scan.

Think of it this way...if you call your brother-in-law to come over and help you with your pool because you are trying to save some money on a pool guy, expect him to come over and teach you how to use the tools and mix the chemicals. If you really don't want to touch or learn anything at all about the pool, hire a pool guy. And no, I don't know a good pool guy I can refer you to.


Make me dinner.
If I know you and love you, I won't take your money. Don't even try to give it to me. Cooking me dinner, buying me a drink or volunteering to help me paint my living room is more than enough. (As for that last one, I'm totally taking you up on that soon...you know who you are.) If you live far away, offering to take me out to dinner even if it might never happen is also perfectly acceptable.

All I really need is not to have to hear about how some jerk from The Geek Squad took advantage of you or made you feel stupid. Because that makes me sad. And angry at some of the jerks working for the Geek Squad. Seriously, where do they find some of those guys?

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Likewise, I will promise to keep all of these things in mind next time I ask you about that strange sound my car has been making. Deal?

An activist's fairy tale...happy ending pending.

Once upon a time (say the mid-90's), a young activist moved to Seattle to do good things. She knocked on doors, raised money and gathered signatures of the crunchy, liberal Seattle-ites. She helped people write letters about the environment. She convinced people they should put locks on their guns to protect children in the home. She worked to change laws so people couldn't suddenly be evicted from their homes for being gay.

One day, a gay man came up to her and was very angry with her. He didn't like that she...OK, fine...He didn't like that I was gathering signatures to put something on the ballot dealing with gay rights. I tried to explain that even though I was straight, he could trust my intentions were good. I told him I was only working to put it on the ballot and that the debate would come later. I asked him why he would be opposed to such a clearly good reform. No-one should end up homeless for being gay, right? I will never forget the answer he gave.

He softened a bit and told me how misguided I was. He told me the most dangerous thing any human rights movement could do was give the public the impression fundamental rights were something we could vote on. He said the laws and courts might not have caught up with gay rights yet, but they would. While we worked and waited, the last thing we should do was muddy the issue by putting initiatives on the ballot implying those rights were optional. He let me know he appreciated that my intentions were good but my actions would hurt the cause. With that, he went on his way.

I was young and arrogant at the time so even though I understood and appreciated the logic of his argument, I disregarded him. We qualified the initiative for the ballot but it ended up losing badly. I moved on but I never forgot him. At the end of the day, he was right. We had done damage putting that issue on the ballot and other far more damaging initiatives followed. Fundamental rights of a minority should never be subject to the whim's of the majority. I feel badly for the tiny part I played in furthering the idea they could be.

I hope it is fairly obvious why I tell this tale today. Regardless of how you feel about gay marriage, I encourage you to embrace that this debate is now being had in the most appropriate place...the courts. These are issues beyond ballot initiatives or momentarily popular legislative bills. Real change in these types of issues is slow and messy and painful. We just need to have a little faith the system we have built will eventually get us to the right place. It's hard because it is supposed to be.

The time that Seattle man gave me in front of a grocery store was one of the most formative experiences I ever had as an organizer. It was from him I learned my good intentions weren't enough. I had an obligation to try to ensure my actions did not harm the very people I wanted to help. If you are out there somewhere and remember putting a cocky, young organizer in her place...thanks.

Things I learned at San Diego Comic-Con 2010

Another great year, another Con post. Here is what I learned this year:

1. Val Kilmer's career is heading in the wrong direction. It's never good to be the saddest looking flyer on the table.




2. I have mad love for anyone who grabs 4 of their buddies and spends the day wandering the floor like this:




3. Cat Woman will flirt with anyone. Sorry Seth.




4. I am surprisingly more tolerant of someone coming dressed as Sarah Palin then as Snookie. I might have been a tad too snarky to "Snookie". Sorry "Snookie".




5. We've come a long way baby. Princess Leia's spotted in gold bikinis = 1. Gladiator guys spotted in male equivalent gold bikinis = 3. The times they are a changin.




6. Little orange price stickers do not make this family friendly.




7. Forget the bad boys...I'll take a snarky comic any day. Watching Scott Adsit from "30 Rock" trade fanboy love with the entire cast of "Community" was a total highlight!




8. Designing your toy to have interchangeable heads may sound cool on paper, but when it gets into the packaging it's just creepy.




9. Someone finally got smart and created the best both swag ever. Those of us stuck in line with the unwashed masses, thank you.




10. Stan Lee is the "Brad Pitt" of the Comic-Con world...complete with entourage, massive security and huge crowds trying to get his attention. I love that when he came through the lobby, everyone gasped and knew exactly who he was.




11. Pink tulle Vader robe, check. Sparkly mask with tiara, check. Mini light-saber, check. It is a miracle that I didn't stick her in my massive SyFy bag and take her home with me.




Another year survived, already looking forward to 2011....Cheers!