Once upon a time (say the mid-90's), a young activist moved to Seattle to do good things. She knocked on doors, raised money and gathered signatures of the crunchy, liberal Seattle-ites. She helped people write letters about the environment. She convinced people they should put locks on their guns to protect children in the home. She worked to change laws so people couldn't suddenly be evicted from their homes for being gay.
One day, a gay man came up to her and was very angry with her. He didn't like that she...OK, fine...He didn't like that I was gathering signatures to put something on the ballot dealing with gay rights. I tried to explain that even though I was straight, he could trust my intentions were good. I told him I was only working to put it on the ballot and that the debate would come later. I asked him why he would be opposed to such a clearly good reform. No-one should end up homeless for being gay, right? I will never forget the answer he gave.
He softened a bit and told me how misguided I was. He told me the most dangerous thing any human rights movement could do was give the public the impression fundamental rights were something we could vote on. He said the laws and courts might not have caught up with gay rights yet, but they would. While we worked and waited, the last thing we should do was muddy the issue by putting initiatives on the ballot implying those rights were optional. He let me know he appreciated that my intentions were good but my actions would hurt the cause. With that, he went on his way.
I was young and arrogant at the time so even though I understood and appreciated the logic of his argument, I disregarded him. We qualified the initiative for the ballot but it ended up losing badly. I moved on but I never forgot him. At the end of the day, he was right. We had done damage putting that issue on the ballot and other far more damaging initiatives followed. Fundamental rights of a minority should never be subject to the whim's of the majority. I feel badly for the tiny part I played in furthering the idea they could be.
I hope it is fairly obvious why I tell this tale today. Regardless of how you feel about gay marriage, I encourage you to embrace that this debate is now being had in the most appropriate place...the courts. These are issues beyond ballot initiatives or momentarily popular legislative bills. Real change in these types of issues is slow and messy and painful. We just need to have a little faith the system we have built will eventually get us to the right place. It's hard because it is supposed to be.
The time that Seattle man gave me in front of a grocery store was one of the most formative experiences I ever had as an organizer. It was from him I learned my good intentions weren't enough. I had an obligation to try to ensure my actions did not harm the very people I wanted to help. If you are out there somewhere and remember putting a cocky, young organizer in her place...thanks.
