I support health care reform. I support health care reform WITH a public option. I wish I could support single payer health care reform but unfortunately it isn't on the table. There you go...that's where I stand. Feel free to move along now if you would like, but I wish you wouldn't. I promise you this isn't a post designed to regale you with facts about how socialist style health care is better. That post is probably coming someday, but I swear it isn't today. This post is about something else.
There are many parts of the current health care debate that frustrate me, but there is one part that is absolutely driving me up a wall. Death Panels. C'mon, you know what I'm referring to. Everyone is talking about them. Plans are being drawn up as we speak to start herding our elderly and infirm into lines for their chosen manner of death as the newly reformed system won't be bothered to pay for them. Death panels are THE thing to be afraid of this week. Surely you don't want to miss out on the panic?
Maybe this issue pisses me off because it has been a difficult year for me. Actually, there is no maybe, I'm sure that's why it makes me so steamed. Allow me to share a piece of my story with you.
About a week before Christmas I received a call at work...the kind of call that every child of an ailing parent knows will come, but is never fully prepared to get. I was told my step-mom was going to die, in fact she was likely going to die in a few hours and we had decisions to make. If you have never been through it, I'm not sure I am capable of conveying the range of emotions that phone call evokes. Shock, sadness and an overwhelming sense of responsibility...no, that doesn't even come close. Do we authorize the use of machines to help her breathe? Do we allow feeding tubes? Do we let her peacefully slip away? It was all our choice.
My step-brother, my aunts and I discussed the situation. We made decisions as I hopped in my car and started driving like a bat out of hell through rain and fog and snow and ice. Thankfully we had prepared ourselves as best as we could for this moment. There were living wills in place and difficult conversations had been had during healthier days. I believe we had as good a grasp on her end-of-life wishes as we could have. Ultimately, we determined the slim chance she still had to recover from this latest crisis was a chance she would want to fight for. Fortunately we were right. She did recover, somewhat, and she let us know that we had made the right choice. Still, even thinking back on it, I can clearly remember how the weight of that afternoon felt. I can't imagine what it would have been like if we hadn't been prepared.
Flash forward to May. Again, the call came. Again, I made the drive. Again, there were decisions to make. Only this time, a different choice was clear. Her body was done. She was done. We supported her choice to refuse dramatic life saving measures. We helped her make phone calls to say goodbye. We brought her foods she had been craving. We arranged for hospice and brought her home. We made her comfortable. We laughed and cried with her until she passed on. These are moments that are so very difficult, yet are also moments to be cherished. We are able to see the parts to cherish because many of the difficult decisions and conversations came long before then. That they did, was a gift.
Sitting down with a loved one and discussing living will wishes and end-of-life care...that my friend is what the "death panels" are referring to. They speak of information resources, counselors trained in going over the issues and explanations of options. They make reference to creating a living will and clearly conveying your wishes to family members who will someday need to enforce those wishes. The "death panels" in the reform bill are to be offered (not mandated) every 5 years or whenever there is a significant change in your health. They are not forced nor are they mandating anything about your care. Don't believe me? Good! Don't listen to me or MSNBC or Fox News. Read it yourself:
Page 424 of the bill. Starts on Line 15.
This is an essential, responsible aspect of planning your life. If you haven't already thought about these issues or had these conversations with your family, do it...now! As uncomfortable as it is, I assure you that it is a gift you are giving them should the need arise.
That anyone, republican or democrat, would twist such an important and sensitive issue in such a hateful and disrespectful way...I don't just disagree with these individuals. I am ashamed of them and disgusted.
Dealing with the final days of a loved one is hard. If that isn't the understatement of the year, I don't know what is. We should do more to educate and empower people to make plans and have the difficult conversations about their wishes. Have your own family death panel soon. Your loved ones will thank you for it.
